NFL hottie Terrell Owens promises he's not trying to fake it until he makes it. At least not when it comes to trying to change the mind of his critics, because what you see is what you get with him on VH1's reality series "The T.O. Show." ESSENCE.com caught up with the Buffalo Bills wide receiver to discuss his emotional reunion with his dad and grandmother, what he really thinks about Black women, and why he ignores his detractors.

ESSENCE.COM: Meeting your father put an emotional toll on you. Has your relationship improved since the show?
TERRELL "T.O." OWENS: Because he's in Alabama and I'm all over the map, I try to keep n touch. He's been in and out of the hospital for tests [blood-related health issues], but I keep in touch with him through my sisters. Again, I have a better understanding why he wasn't there for me when I was growing up. It's funny because my mom got me a Father's Day card and that was one of the most precious moments. Obviously, I'm her son but she says I'd been like a father figure. I have kids and I don't get to see them as much as I'd like, but I do express to them that I love them and I just try not to repeat the same mistakes my father made with me.

ESSENCE.COM: One thing that was unclear is why your father never came to visit you when he only lived across the street?
OWENS: My grandmother lived directly across the street from him and she raised me. I suppose he wasn't comfortable having a child out of wedlock that he kept from his wife and kids. To my knowledge it wasn't an easy acceptance for his wife; he was married when I was conceived. He has four girls, and I'm the third child with two older sisters and two younger sisters. At this point, I'm beyond the anger. When I was in junior high and high school and my first two or three years in college I accepted the fact that I was practically a grown man and that there was not much more he could do for me that I couldn't already do for myself.

ESSENCE.COM: Speaking of women, a lot of sisters believe you don't have an interest in Black women. Is that the case?
OWENS: Not at all. Black women I do love you. Honestly, if I were to reveal the Black females I've dated, the women who are accusing me of that would be surprised. I've had a lot of Black women hit me up on Twitter accusing me of not liking my own kind and all I have to say is that they are thinking too much. These women don't know me like that to have something negative to say about the women I date. Perhaps I have a certain type of woman that I like and a preference and I shouldn't be faulted for that. And for the record, I'm very familiar with headscarves because my grandmother wore them. I was just saying to Kiya that the women I date don't wear them because it's the truth. If I'm dating a Black woman and we hang out it doesn't mean she's sleeping over, so I might never see her in a headscarf. Again, I think some women are thinking too much about this because I love Black women.

ESSENCE.COM: Is there any criticism that bothers you?
OWENS: It ticks me off when people try to say that my show is scripted. What I went through with my grandmother that wasn't easy for me because she is my everything and I'd do anything for her. I'd sit behind bars for her with all that she's done for me and helped me gain so much on and off the field. I was truly overwhelmed. I didn't see cameras because there was nothing but pure love there. All I saw was my grandmother and her telling me about different things in life and I saw me as young boy with my grandmother. I know when my grandmother said everything was going to be fine that that was God's confirmation through her to let me know keep moving on because He's all powerful. So no matter what my critics say, this show is far from fake.

ESSENCE.COM: Now that you've invited the world into your life, are you hoping that it will counter the negative press T.O. has received?
OWENS: Negative press? It is what it is. This show isn't sports-related, it's my life. My purpose was not to revamp my image, because I could have hired a team of publicists to handle that; now that's fake. I have nothing to hide, that's what my nakedness represents in those ads for the show. I'm just Terrell. John Madden gave me the initials T.O., and the media ran with it. I've never wanted anyone to shout those initials when I'm on the field. I believe this has shown the world that I'm not this shocking star-studded figure they make me out to be, but a regular guy who goes through his ups and downs like everyone else.

Tune in for more Terrell Owens on "The T.O. Show" (VH1) on Mondays at 10 P.M. ET.