Cleveland Sonny Carr, 30, is in the Army for nine years and is scheduled to make a fourth trip to Afghanistan in July 2010. He and his fiancee, Maya, have been together for one year but have known each other since the eighth grade. Maya teaches 7th grade reading, and is working on her Masters for School Administration. The relationship is long-distance, as he lives in Clarksville, TN, and she lives in Chicago, IL.
Updated 11:12pm • Friday, February 5 2010
Cleveland Carr, fiance of Maya Miller
It's so easy for all the men to go on and on about our lovely fiancees! With this new engagement and soon marriage of mine brings more than just a beautiful fiancee and wife. Maya has two bright and wonderful loving children. Kadin, 5, and Jurni, 3. Entering any relationship that's has two young ones can be a huge challenge. They are a joy and full of life and fun. I have taken this challenge on with patience, love and ease. I don't use the word step-children. Kadin and Jurni are MINE to help raise, support, teach, mold and guide through life. Where does it say "STEP" in there!? I love these two as I love my son Brandon 11--Maya and Brandon have hit it off great! I love all my children the same. Maya has a very supportive family--dad Curtis, mom Joy, sister Chaka and brother Joseph. All have taken in Brandon and I with open hearts and arms. It's like I've been blessed with a new wonderful family. Even with my Afghanistan deployment quickly approaching Maya and her family have become my biggest supporters. I have gained so much more than just a beautiful, loving, very caring and supportive spiritual better half that makes a killer bowl or oatmeal...lol. I have the same in my new wonderful loving family. I thank God every night for them all.
Maya Miller, fiancee of Cleveland Carr
The last week has been bittersweet. As we approach the end of the contest, Cleve and I are sending out emails, posting links on our Facebook pages, calling relatives and talking to complete strangers to get them to vote for us.
On the flip side, Cleve received news of his departure date for Afghanistan. The FRG (Family Readiness Group) called me to offer support for the upcoming deployment and check if I had any questions or concerns. I was so thrown off by their phone call that I pretended I was someone else. When I heard the lady on the other end say deployment and FRG my heart dropped. I was lost for words. I guess I just didn't expect all of this so soon. I knew he was leaving, I knew what I signed up for, but I already miss him before he is even gone. I will call the FRG in due time, Cleve explained how they can be a great support system. I have been researching on the Internet how to handle a deployment as an army wife and how to support your military spouse. I found some really great information. I just want to be strong enough for Cleve when he leaves. I know he will have some rough and tiring days and will need me to comfort him through the phone, on Skype or with my words via email. I guess I feel like my job during this deployment is to keep him mentally strong and secure so that he can stay focused on what he needs to do in Afghanistan and coming back to us.
Every week there is more news of the deployment. Sometimes it takes over most of our conversations. I'm learning a lot from Cleve right now. He helps me understand how often we will communicate, what his living quarters will be like, and some of his duties while he is there. We even had a few of the uncomfortable conversations about what will happen if he gets hurt, finances and so on. When it all gets to be too much to handle I'll cut Cleve off in mid sentence and say, "Babe, not right now". He is very sensitive and patient with me knowing this is my first deployment, but his 4th. He's used to this. If the conversation can wait he'll say ok, but other times it is a conversation that must be had. Still, he guides me through it carefully.
The time is going way too fast. There is so much going on right now. Besides kids, work, and school, we have a lot on our plate right now. We plan to create a list of things we want to do before he leaves. So far, number one is win the contest and get married (God I hope we win), celebrate his birthday, vacation just for us, family vacation, going away party and I'm sure we will add more as the days go on. I wish the time would slow down.
What I'm going to miss most is having him here at the end of the day to hold me. After work and running around chasing kids, I'll miss him here to hold me and relax away all the stress. All day I take care of 100 kids that aren't even mine, and then come home and care for my own children. Now, don't get me wrong I like my job and even more so I love my children more than anything. But any mom can tell you it is a lot of work molding little people's lives, especially when you are a single mom. When I pick Cleve up from the airport on Friday nights at 6:55 p.m. just about every weekend, I can take a deep breath, relieved that my man is home.
*-*-*-*-*-*
Updated 5:12pm • Thursday, January 22 2010
Weekly Blog from our Couples
Maya Miller, fiancee of Cleveland
Cleveland and I want to get married on May 1st, win or lose. Since our date is quickly approaching we have been discussing colors, the style of our ceremony and celebration. I know exactly the type of dress I want to wear and Cleve has in mind his attire as well. I guess you could say we are planning wedding A and wedding B so that we are prepared if we win or lose.
Almost nightly, I am researching websites to look for unique ideas and ways to personalize our day. I don't have a favorite website because I take bits of information from each one. My family has been great sharing their thoughts and ideas. Some ideas we like and others, well...not so much.
The intimacy between Cleve and I has heightened since the contest has begun. I'm not just speaking of the intimacy between us. It honestly seems like love is in the air. Not one day goes by that a person at work, a friend, or a complete stranger shares how the love bug has creeped back into their lives since meeting us or hearing our story. It's awesome! Love is back!!!
*-*-*-*-*-*
Updated 7:12pm • Thursday, January 14 2010
Short Q&A With The Guys Before The Proposal:
Cleveland Carr, fiance of Maya Miller
ESSENCE.com: When did you first meet Maya?
CARR: Eighth grade, I first saw Maya in the 8th grade. I moved away and she stayed and continued to graduate high school. We just went our own separate ways. She has two wonderful children and I have a son, we have both been married once. I did the military thing and she is a seventh-grade reading teacher. And after about nine years of just, I wouldn't even say separation, just a long pause, we reconnected of all places, on Facebook.
I was actually looking for two old friends of mine. Anyone who knows Facebook, knows that you put your little information in and it kind of "be friends with me" to anyone somewhat related to you and your information. And I saw her on it. I don't know what 8th grade love is about but it was like love at first sight. And, at the time that I got on Facebook, I was actually in West Point New York doing some training so I wasn't able to get to her physically, but I asked her if she was with anybody. She said, "No." She commented on a few things on my page so I knew she was kind of interested. And it just went from there. The first weekend that I came back, I was able to drive up to Chicago, a six-hour drive, and then that's when it became love at first sight all over again. I went up there to Chicago on the 14 of August, the 15 of August we became a couple and it's just been wonderful.
ESSENCE.com: Why did you want to propose in ESSENCE?
CARR: I think any man who loves his girlfriend should at least try to enter this contest. Maya is very deserving, she is deserving of so many great things. She is such a caring person. Her morals are so in line. The way she was raised, is the way she raises her children. She is just so committed to being a decent human being. So, when I saw it I said I am going to enter this thing. I was actually reading one of the magazines and I said, "I am going to enter this thing."
The young lady from ESSENCE called me and I was thinking, "this is it." This is an opportunity that will be one of those life-changing events and she deserves that.
ESSENCE.com: What's the first thing that came to your mind when you found out you were a finalist?
CARR: The first thing that came to my mind was, "Naw, get out of here." Just shock and awe because any person that watches television and reads ESSENCE knows about this contest. I swear as soon as Nazenet Habtezghi [ESSENCE's Assistant Editor] called me, I went online and starting researching it. I was shocked and in awe.
NEXT PAGE >>
