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Ask Finesse: Immature Friends

Q: If my guy hangs out with a bunch of immature players, is that a sign he's not ready to settle down? Are a man's friends a reflection of him?

A: Women love to say, "Birds of a feather flock together." But what you don't notice is that those birds also tend to jump out of the nest of immaturity at different times. There's a chance your man could be perfectly ready to settle down, even if the only thing his boys are ready to commit are misdemeanors.

Remember: The right woman can make any man say, "Not tonight, guys. Beat it!" So when you get nervous about your man hanging with his "immature" crew, you're concerned about the wrong thing. Base your jitters on how a man treats you. If he's not acting like he wants to be around you, pay attention to that-not the beer bong you saw in his buddy's kitchen.

And don't worry. When a man makes the commitment, he won't behave like his guys-gone-wild friends do, and you won't have to think about that straight-up-trifling buddy of his who didn't let what happened in Vegas stay in Vegas. My closest friends consist of all types of guys who are cool, and some who are questionable. But none of their antics can make me take my girl out of first place.

Got a relationship question for comedian Finesse Mitchell? Send it to us at askfinesse@essence.com. And you can visit him online at finessemitchell.com. 

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RT @essenceonline: Ask Finesse: Immature Friends Ask Finesse: Immature Friends @essenceonline
How do you tell someone you like them as a friend and nothing more without hurt there feeling?
Posted at 10/15/2009 4:57 PM by Kimberly
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I recently broke off my engagement after only being engaged 3 months. I waited 3 years for the ring, I was called by the ex's name on four different occassions and I was disrespected by her because he didn't ahve the balls to tell her to kiss his, i'm not going there. The long and short I have had enough and he won't leave me alone. I tried being nice, I even tried counseling to make sure I tried every avenue before really walking away. Why can't he understand that all of the hurt he put me through has finally hit me.
Posted at 10/14/2009 11:00 AM by Kiki
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I've been seeing this guy from my church for over a year now. When I talk about marriage, he always say...he's being prudent and waiting for an answer from the Lord, and I respect that. However, It's been over a year and I was wondering if or when will we take things to the next level. Although, I am honored that he respect the fact that, I will not have relations until marriage. I guess, I'm concern at this point because I don’t know if he is really waiting on an answer from the Lord? We talk on the phone, but we really don’t spend time together in person, to avoid temptation. However, it's been over a year and I really like him. Will he ever ask me to marry him, or should I cut my tie's? Please Help!
Posted at 10/13/2009 9:46 PM by Shuntae
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Should a woman leave her man if he shows more interest in his friends than her her? Yes!!!
Posted at 10/13/2009 9:44 PM by Shuntae
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when is this post going to be updated, did he get fired or what?!
Posted at 10/12/2009 9:13 PM by eharris
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